Signature Workshop
Skills for Ripening Over the Erotic Lifespan
Ripening your erotic relationship one encounter at a time.
January 29–31, 2027 · Saratoga Arms Hotel · Saratoga Springs, NY
Periods of rough weather are normal in long-term relationships. Serious illnesses, losses, betrayals, functional impairments, differences in sexual desire, and anxiety are just a few of the challenges couples encounter. Painful experiences can destroy sex lives and relationships or, with proper skills and care, they can grow them. Let us teach you how this works so you can begin to ripen your relationship inside and outside of the bedroom.
The Approach
This is a Skills-Based Retreat
We want you to return home from the retreat with skills you have already practiced. Everything we do during our time together will be about learning what it means to become an expert on each other, especially when life is challenging, so new experiences can unfold. Our focus will be on what’s happening in real time between you, as opposed to the past or future, where you are most capable of creativity, collaboration and care. We blend relational science (PACT), Tantra and play into powerful fuel for healing and growth.
Secure Functioning & Sex
What does relational science have to do with pleasurable sex?
Ripening Retreats are based on the work of Dr. Stan Tatkin, world-renowned couple therapist and creator of the Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy (PACT). Based on neuroscience and attachment theory, PACT helps couples transform their relationships through the development of secure functioning — the capacity to understand and care effectively for each other moment to moment, especially under challenging circumstances. On a Ripening Retreat couples learn how to apply the science of secure functioning to sex.
Couples in PACT therapy often exclaim to their therapist, “Are you reading my mind? How did you know I felt that way?” The therapist can (REMOVE THE WORD OFTEN HERE) predict what clients are feeling because they understand neurobiology, arousal regulation and the science of attachment and can see how a client’s history is showing up in their office right then and there.
Let us begin to teach you how to do this with each other! Once you are able to understand and predict your partner, once you realize that very little of what is happening is personal or pathological, your couple is ready for more pleasure and connection.
WORKSHOP PARTICIPANT
Two Fuels for Growth
Why Tantra. Why Play.
Why Tantra
Tantra offers us a way to experience sex beyond the confines of sexual performance. Tantra invites us to explore energy, breath, sensation, movement and heartfulness in an erotic context. Freed from a preoccupation with orgasm, with looking/smelling/sounding right, with needing things to be a certain way, we are able to experience our capacity for deep connection with ourselves, our partner and the divine.
Why Play
Play is the way children learn best. In a game of make-believe when something doesn’t work to keep the action going kids simply try something else. They are free to experiment without judgment, to try on different roles, and explore as many scenarios as their minds can imagine. Children play for adventure and for healing and so shall we! Ripening Retreats balance the serious work of relational healing and erotic growth with laughter, creativity and play.
Allison Howe, LMFT, PACT INSTITUTE SENIOR FACULTY:
Who Is This For?
Our clients share their sexual fears, doubts and yearning with us — and for decades we have helped them ripen.
Maybe you’re having satisfying sex but you yearn for something deeper, more complex. Sex that’s mind blowing. Healing. Transformational.
Maybe sex in your relationship is stressful, painful, and/or disappointing. You don’t want to spend the rest of your life this way. You might even be questioning how sexual you really are.
Or maybe you haven’t had sex with your partner in a long time and there are a lot of challenging emotions that come with wanting to bring this part of your relationship back online.
Maybe you are interested in deepening your understanding of secure functioning in the erotic realm and wish for a personal experience to inform your personal and/or professional development.
This workshop is our way of sharing the work we do in our offices with a wider audience. Let us take you on a dynamic journey towards pleasure and connection.
All Couples Welcome
We welcome committed couples of all kinds.
We welcome queer and straight couples, couples of all sizes, ages and abilities, races and ethnicities. We welcome couples who practice monogamy and couples who live in non-traditional relationship structures. Our focus will be on the science and art that binds two people in a committed relationship seeking pleasurable sex — but everything you learn is applicable to a more complex relational system.
The Long Game
Ripening Doesn’t Happen Overnight
The kind of sex you are looking for, just like a perfectly ripe peach, takes time and optimal conditions. Pleasurable sex in a committed relationship can require rigorous study of each other. It takes creativity, play, movement and breath. It pushes couples to acquire an appetite for uncertainty and risk, a tenderness towards pain and grief, and an ability to collaborate as if their lives depend on it. Ripening takes more than a weekend. We will help you imagine your shared destination and develop the roadmap.
Practicalities
Important Details
Where & When
The retreat will be held at The Saratoga Arms Hotel in Saratoga Springs, NY.
- — Friday 1/29/27 · 6 pm–8 pm
- — Saturday 1/30/27 · 10 am–6 pm
- — Sunday 1/31/27 · 10 am–1 pm
- — 11 hours of formal instruction
Saratoga Arms is a boutique hotel in the heart of Saratoga Springs, NY known for its privacy, luxurious accommodations and concierge service. You will be within walking distance of the city park, shops, and more restaurants than you could hope to try in a weekend. Our beautiful state park is a short drive away for longer walks, runs, and two-wheeled adventures.
Investment
The cost for the weekend is $1,499 per couple. This rate includes a two-night stay with breakfast each morning. Lunches and dinners are on your own.
Begin the Conversation
A Common Question
Will there be sex happening at the retreat?
No — but in an erotic context everything we do, even sipping tea with our partner, can feel sensual. During the retreat we will invite you to use breath, movement and sound in a variety of different ways. You will only be physically interacting with your partner and only to the degree that feels comfortable to you. We will remain completely clothed at all times. Anyone who violates these boundaries will be asked to leave the retreat.
Next Step
Ready to ripen together?
Write to us with questions, scholarship inquiries, or to reserve a place for January 29–31, 2027.
Contact Us